that life..

hi there!

i don't think I've ever been happier to come to work. at work things almost feel like they are under control. i don't kid myself by believing that feeling, but i do ignore it easier than at home!!

my domestic worker from the last 5 years resigned over the weekend.. for anyone who has never had a domestic worker, that is like in so what?? but for me!!! it is driving insane time!! Kathrine looked after Tamar in the day time and evenings she would stay with our children if we needed to go somewhere! and then of coarse there is the convenient she cleaned, washed, ironed, cleaned, washed, ironed!!

so now I'm the mommy everything.. the cleaner, maker, baker, driver, planner, mover, healer, fixer..
but now it's tuesday and things are better.. my house is acctually in order!! it looks so nice! and i'm proud of me! maybe this is not an altogether bad thing. but we realised we'll need someone full time again, as we have no-one to look after the kids over holidays. anyway, it'll work out, you just wait and see

on sunday night i had one of those crack down moments. you know, the ones where you not just angry at people and situations, but angry at God for not showing Himself strong. Not jumping in and just doing everything i want Him to do, not just being God in my life.. one of those times when you go to a place where no-one but God can hear you and then you just scream! i do always feel better after a good screaming! so then i come to the realization that it truely is not about me and it's not about what will work for me and how my life will be made beter if God does as He is told..
it's about Him, about Him, about Him, about Him.
read Wilna's blog today, her blog gives me such courage, such hope! i love reading her thoughts, feelings and just her he{art}.
will talk soon